It is a mystery to most who know my beautiful wife why she married me. Of course, that question assumes she had a choice. The real story is that I chose her and I won her the way Grant won the Civil War - determined persistence!
Since we are snowed in just prior to Valentine's Day and the Valentine's gift might be a little limited this year (a fried spam sandwich has not been ruled out, yet), I am going to write this romantic tale as a part of this year's Valentine's package .
One time at band camp (no, really), I saw this beautiful young girl with long, long legs coming right out of her armpits. She had the prettiest blue eyes I had ever seen and had big 80s hair like the band Poison (not that I was ever attracted to them). I looked at her for just a second, made some decisions, and started re-ordering my future.
Having planned the rest of my life in fifteen seconds, I told the guy next to me, my buddy Walker, that I was going to marry that girl. He asked which one and I pointed to Cammie, saying, "the one with legs coming straight out of her armpits." Walker looked at me uncomfortably and said, "that is my cousin's girlfriend!"
What would have been a setback for most people was a stroke of luck for me. I said to Walker, "Well, you better tell him." And Walker did. And in a couple of weeks, the cousin was all but a memory. There was a high speed chase and resulting juvenile probation that involved this character later, but he was on his way out.
Thus began a long courtship. Though many teachers and friends tried to discourage her from associating with me at all (God rest Mary Neal's soul for her lone voice of encouragement), I persisted as Cammie resisted and her resistance weakened year by year. What began as Cammie's attraction to the mullet I was rockin' in high school grew and grew, like kudzu in a forest.
There were a few dubious characters who tried to kill the kudzu and contest this courtship, but they were all ultimately unsuccessful. In spite of promises I made to her and threats I made to my competitors, Cammie did momentarily leave her senses to break up with me in 1991. As we broke up, I just explained to her that she was making the worst mistake of her life and that she would be back. This was theater on my part as I was really crushed and could barely function, but I got my message across. And no Tim Tebow, I didn't cry (in public) and I (barely) survived until Cammie regained her sanity.
Cammie did come back to me later that year. And as the talentless, over-matched, outclassed U.S. Grant won the Civil war with overwhelming numbers, I won her hand in marriage with overwhelming love. What did I promise Cammie to seal the deal? I promised her that we would have beautiful children, that she wouldn't have to work (irony - she is shoveling snow from the driveway as I write this), and that I would get better looking with age. We do have beautiful children, Cammie has been able to stay at home with our beautiful children, and she does believe I am getting better looking. I was counting on Cammie's eyesight weakening for this promise and she's not far from glasses, now. Please, nobody tell her the truth or I will have to re-grow my mullet to deliver on the better-looking promise.
Ours is a love story that has turned into a family sitcom. There is still plenty of romance between us, but it takes a little more effort to fuel a romance when you are shuttling children to Taekwondo, piano lessons, and little league. Even at the wheel of a minivan, I still think she is the prettiest girl I know and I love her more today than I did in 1987 when I first noticed her. I know she feels the same way as I heard her recently tell somebody that there is nobody she would rather hang out with, nobody she would rather grow old with, and often, nobody she would rather choke out! Now, that is true love!
I wanted to write this to proclaim my love for my wife, but there is another message here, too. I joked about how I won Cammie in spite of all my imperfections, but she didn't stay with me because of my flaws or even the giant stuffed animal I bought her for Valentine's Day in 1989. I won Cammie with sheer determination, but we have grown in our marriage because we both were completely dedicated. If we had simply been dedicated to each other, that would not have been enough. We are more happily married today because we have dedicated our marriage and family to Christ and grown in Him. No matter what stage your romantic relationship is in, if both of you recognize Christ as the most important person in the relationship, you will strengthen that relationship instantly.
With that, I hope everybody has a Happy and Blessed Valentine's Day! We will be here in the blizzard trying to stay warm - I might even turn the power out myself to encourage some closeness! That would be really romantic except that we will undoubtedly have five Benefields huddled together instead of two.
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