It's not manly to cry. If it were, then there would be lots of film footage of John Wayne, Bear Bryant, or Tom Landry crying. It is acceptable for men to shed tears in public in some circumstances, but an emotional outburst of crying is no better than a temper tantrum and is just not acceptable. I thought after all the debate about Tim Tebow's PDAT (public display of alligator tears), that somebody should differentiate acceptable male tear shedding from unmanly crying. I know crying is not the worst thing a person can do and I have had my share of public temper tantrums, so this is not pious judgment of anybody who has broken these rules, but it is an attempt to have a little fun while reinforcing the notion that men should be manly and should make every effort to show self-control.
Ten occasions when men can shed tears:
1. The passing of a loved one or fallen comrade
2. When you share the pain of a friend
3. Farewell to your band of brothers (your military unit or team mates on a sports team)
4. The birth of your children or grandchildren
5. A significant event in the life of your children (such as acceptance of Christ, baptism, marriage or acceptance into the University of Alabama - tears of pride are acceptable )
6. A promotion, award, or other such honor that is truly humbling because of all the nice things said about you (whether your dad is in prison or not)
7. One of your children enrolls in college at Auburn (or Florida or maybe even the University of Georgia if you are an LSU fan - disappointment and despair can hardly be contained in this case)
8. Your parachute opens in a manner that is going to cause you to sing soprano
9. Public viewing of Old Yeller (of course this is inclusive of the passing of your dog, which the movie doubtless reminds you of)
10. Somebody crashes into your car (the one the man drives, not the minivan) that you either just bought or have owned more than 15 years
The list of ten acceptable tear shedding occasions covers almost all of them, but I am going to list a few of the many occasions when it is NOT acceptable for a man to shed tears, have a trembling crying fit, or any other public outburst of emotion.
1. The buffet line closes before you get there.
2. You just realized you have gained over 20lbs since high school.
3. Your favorite team traded your favorite player (it is acceptable to question the intelligence of the team's management, though)
4. You lose in an athletic competition (yes, this is the one Tebow broke)
5. You break a bone or are physically hurt in a way that does not involve blood or bullets
6. You are colder than Eskimo ice cream (it is acceptable to cry if this causes you to have to get naked and get belly to belly with a male friend in your sleeping bag)
7. Your favorite NASCAR driver crashes at Daytona, but is ok
8. When the flying monkeys get after Dorothy or when the werewolf chases the vampire in Twilight series
9. When your last single friend gets married (at least not in front of your wife)
10. When your favorite sports team (to include your child's little league team) loses.
Those are the rules from Alabama. You can amend them as you see fit, but the spirit of these rules should be honored. As I said in the beginning, I may have violated the rules once or twice, but I had good friends who held me accountable. Now, you are empowered to likewise hold your friends accountable!
